A Thought About Always Having To Be Right

We may think we know everything but what do we really gain by having to be right if we only end up losing a friend over it. Not many things are more important than friendship.

Anyone who knows me knows that I hate tension, I can't stand fighting and I run from confrontation.  Sometimes confrontation is necessary when it has to be done, but there are people who are almost energized by tension and fighting and being right is the most important thing.  I am so NOT wired this way and I can't say I keep a lot of friends who are. I do know people like that but I don't tend to gravitate to that type of person. In fact I run from them.

I remember many years ago having two friends who had a fight over the most stupid thing; each one believing that they were in the right; neither one willing to give in.  Why it even mattered that they had to be right over something so trivial was beyond my understanding. It wasn't even a personal matter. It wouldn't have changed their friendship in any way to just agree to disagree and move on, letting bygones be bygones. Instead they both preferred to give up being friends rather than give in. Being in the middle between them and trying to be 'peace maker' almost tore me apart......sometimes I'm such a whimp....but I have gotten better over the years.

I'd like to be able to say that years later they both found other great friends to share their lives with but I don't think either of them ever did. They have had other friends of course, but the unique friendship they shared is gone forever and will never be replaced.

I hope I never become so stubborn and determined to be right that I would rather lose those most important to me, spending life without them, rather than lose an argument.
Don't let your need to be right rob you of precious friendships that can't be replaced. You may look good, you may look smart, and yes you may have the satisfaction of being right, but if you lose a friend over it, have you really gained anything? Perhaps God is just giving you the chance to be the bigger person and to show humility and grace to others.

Hhhmmmm, on another note, I wonder if over the years my fear of tension and confrontation has actually done the same thing.....cost me friendships that I was unwilling to fight for, pursue, or get involved in.  Yes, letting them be right, but backing away from them for fear of more tension or confrontation. I do know that there are people who are just too difficult to deal with and it's just more draining than it's worth to be around them, but I also wonder just how many friends I do not have now because of my lack of courage. I wonder how much my past has conditioned me to run and hide rather than seek, persist and work things out. I'll have to think about that one.